Kitteh?

*Knock knock knock*

me: Hello cute little neighbor kid... what do you need?
me: Oh, you found helpless tiny animal that needs to be saved? Oh, but I don't like cats...
me: No, no thank you... I don't need to hold it.
me: Really, that's okay... no... I....well hello there little guy.
kitteh: meowowowowowwwwhateyouandlifeandgodandeverything
me (forgetting kettehs have a pointy side): Ouch! Fuck! Pointy!
*examines scratch marks on chest*
 *gives kitteh a dirty look*
kitteh: meowwowowwwwi'mpartninjaandwillshankyoubitch

me (because obviously I have half crazy somewhere in my family): Well... if whatsherface doesn't want it, we'll take it...
Brett: What is that noise?
*holds kitteh up*
Brett: well, that's adorable. Don't forget it's pointy. 

Neighbor kids took kitteh to whatsherfaces mother's cousin house who is twice removed and (for all I know) has exactly that many teeth... Turns out she wanted the angry little thing, and I was spared from my temporary lapse in sanity. Whew.