Yesterday was my grandmother's birthday...
I took a herd of my sheltered country family to Vin de Set and the Chocolate Bar, two nice resturaunts in St. Louis. We had time to kill between reservations so we decided to head to The Loop, a trendy little strip of shopping next to Washington University.
The first store we hit was Phoenix Rising where one of my cousin's, we'll call her Mrs Apple, bought a book on dreams for the gal that cleans her house. It was one of those sweet little "just because" buys that always melts my heart... anyways... The next stop on our adventure was Avalon Exchange, a hip little clothing exchange store where all the hipsters get their gear. They also have a fantastic selection of cowboy boots, for whatever reason. While trying on shoes, Miss Apple naively left her little bag with the sweet little book in it on the ground next to her. Yeah, someone stole that bitch.
Miss Apple went to the tattoo / pierced gal that works there and very sweetly asked if someone might have picked up her bag with the book in it. No one that worked there had seen it, but they did have a pretty kick ass surveillance video system. They zipped the tape back a bit and see a woman walk next to Miss Apple and promptly shove the package into their purse. The gal working immediately recognized the thief, since the silly little thing had sold clothes to the exchange store earlier which requires you to give your license and cell phone number. Her name was De'von, and yeah, she was a tranny.
The gals working called De'von and confronted her about stealing the book.
The first store we hit was Phoenix Rising where one of my cousin's, we'll call her Mrs Apple, bought a book on dreams for the gal that cleans her house. It was one of those sweet little "just because" buys that always melts my heart... anyways... The next stop on our adventure was Avalon Exchange, a hip little clothing exchange store where all the hipsters get their gear. They also have a fantastic selection of cowboy boots, for whatever reason. While trying on shoes, Miss Apple naively left her little bag with the sweet little book in it on the ground next to her. Yeah, someone stole that bitch.
Miss Apple went to the tattoo / pierced gal that works there and very sweetly asked if someone might have picked up her bag with the book in it. No one that worked there had seen it, but they did have a pretty kick ass surveillance video system. They zipped the tape back a bit and see a woman walk next to Miss Apple and promptly shove the package into their purse. The gal working immediately recognized the thief, since the silly little thing had sold clothes to the exchange store earlier which requires you to give your license and cell phone number. Her name was De'von, and yeah, she was a tranny.
The gals working called De'von and confronted her about stealing the book.
She denied it.
Hung up on them.
Called back all indigent about being accused of stealing and read them the riot act.
Hung up on them again.
Called back and said, actually, she just found the book and was going to return it to the bookstore and she would bring it back.
Ten minutes later she came strutting in with the book, screaming at everyone in the store saying what kind of person just leaves packages lying around... evidently she was being a good citizen by bringing the stolen book back and she can't believe the treatment she was receiving. Finger snapping and plenty sassy behavior commenced.
Ten minutes later she came strutting in with the book, screaming at everyone in the store saying what kind of person just leaves packages lying around... evidently she was being a good citizen by bringing the stolen book back and she can't believe the treatment she was receiving. Finger snapping and plenty sassy behavior commenced.
Then she stormed out in a blaze of tranny glory.
It was. Amazing.
It was. Amazing.
And my family was reminded why they never ventured into the big city.
1 comments:
That is hilarious. Good story, B.
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