My Four

I have a pretty kick ass assignment due in my English class. It could be my favorite paper I've ever been asked to write. For the final assignment of this semester we were asked to read Frankenstein and to focus on chapter 14. If you haven't read the novel, this is where the Creature finds four books (after learning how to read by creeping on the cottagers) which, after reading them, comprises of his entire education. We were then asked to evaluate Mary Shelley's choice of books, and pick four books of our own to educate our very own little creature. 

This has taken way more thought that I would have ever dreamed. I can pump out papers pretty easily, but there is something about this assignment that is making me really stop and think. I've had a hell of a time coming up with my four books. What is it that I want to teach a creature about life in the first place? Which books eloquently and adequately express those philosophies through their pages? How do I do this without sounding like a total... blowhard? I've made so many lists of books that I'm starting to worry I'm over thinking this assignment a bit too much. I've asked everyone that I know what their list of books would be looking for a bit of inspiration. Everyone has had different selections. It's just so personal, especially if you're a reader. 

Well done, professor. You've successfully provided me with a paper that has caused me to think, not bullshit. Other than fiction writing, this has been a very rare occurrence. 

So, right, my list. I'm writing it down here so I can't change it. I just have my books selected at this point, and I still need to write the actual paper... 

1. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Charles Dodgson. Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
2. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte. "My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods; time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees.  My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath--a source of little visible delight, but necessary.  Nelly, I am Heathcliff!  He's always, always in my mind--not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being"
3. Plan Bee - Susan Brackney "As I idly watch them fly from flower to flower and from flower to hive, I realize they have managed to slow my previously frenetic pace, to make me more appreciative of the workings of the universe, and to return me, at least a little bit, to simpler times."
4. A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson. "It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but all of which had once been you."

You?

Transparency

Yesterday I was caught in the act of doing something I despise, and I was rightfully called out on it. I made a mistake. This is not something I find myself doing too often. That may sound conceited, but whatev. I make very few decisions without considering all of the consequences ahead of time. This prepares me for most things that may come my way. If I’m finding myself knee deep in some shit, it will be no surprise to me… plus it was probably worth it.

My mistake was pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. This time around, I wasn’t entirely forward, concise, or honest. With myself, mostly. Shame on me. I know better. I allowed myself to hesitate, and do some bush beating, instead of just spitting out what it was that I wanted. The uncertainty came from the risk. I wasn’t afraid of rejection, because that isn’t something that would hold me back in the least. I was more afraid of tainting the short time we have left.

Silly girl.

I find myself adhering to a basic philosophy for my life. Do something, or don’t. I try not to waste a moment mucking around in the wishy-washy middle ground of indecision. If you’re angry, address the issue or get the hell over it. If you want something from someone, ask. If you want to do something, quit freaking talking about it and make it happen. Whatever you do, do not pussy foot around. Do not be uspet with someone for not reading your mind. And, most importantly, do not expect someone to know what you want if you haven't told them. Assuming and hinting can make things complicated, and that is unnecessary. Even if the answer isn’t what you ultimately wanted it to be, at least you have been clear. In this case it worked out nicely in the end.

Lesson learned. Go me!

Rotting Bananas

Are actually delicious. When you cover them in butter, flour, and sugar bake them into bread that is.
I have a recipe that I always fall back on when making banana bread. It's super moist, and not as dense as others that I have tried. It's adapted from a recipe I found years ago, and I always add in whatever I have lying around the house. This time it was booze, chocolate, applesauce, and raisins. I'm not sure what that says about me...

Ingredients

• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
• 2 large eggs
• 3 ripe bananas
• 1 tablespoon milk
• 1 heaping tablespoon ground cinnamon 
• handful of raisins (I soaked these in whiskey and a bit of hot water to plump them up before adding them)
• 1 cup(ish) of applesauce. I wasn't exact. I just dumped some in. 
• handful of chocolate chips
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Butter a 9 x 5 x 3 inch loaf pan.

Cream the sugar and butter in a large mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.Add the applesauce.

In a small bowl, mash the bananas with a fork. Mix in the milk and cinnamon. In another bowl, mix together the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

Add the banana mixture to the creamed mixture and stir until just combined. Add dry ingredients, mixing just until flour disappears.(This is actually important, I've found. Don't over beat it at this point)

Pour half of the batter into prepared pan, add some of the raisins and the chocolate chips. Add the rest of the batter and the rest of the raisins and chocolate chips. Stir a bit with a spoon. This keeps all of the goodies from sinking to the bottom.
Bake 1 hour to 1 hour 10 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Set aside to cool on a rack for 15 minutes.
If you can wait till the next day to eat it, it gets better.

Mother Nature is a Whore

Tomorrow is the 32nd annual Wurstfest in Hermann Missouri... which is outdoors.
There we eat potato pancakes, watch the wiener dog derby, and drink wine.
Today it snowed about 4 inches and it's still coming down.
How much wine will I have to drink to quit caring how cold it is?

Well. Shit.

The purpose of this blog is perspective. My head is often full of hard to comprehend emotions. Sometimes I need a place to work through whatever it is on my mind less it devours me up. Every now and again I talk about things that make people uncomfortable, and really, I’m okay with that. I try to be respectful of other people and all that bullshit, but at the end of the day this is for me. If you read this, you’re just along for the ride. Seatbelts are mandatory. I also change the stations obsessively and I’m not apologizing. With that in mind, I’ve never had the source of my writing actually read my words.

Manchild knows that I blog, but he has zero interest in wanting to read what I’m writing. If it’s not political pandering of some sort, he could care less. If I wrote about Sarah Palin it might catch his eye... but only if it gave him the opportunity to be angry about something. Dachshunds, fuckery, and my disastrous shenanigans aren’t on his entertainment spectrum. After all, he lives with me. He hears me talk about this stuff obsessively on a day to day basis. I can’t say that I blame him for not wanting to read about it as well.


But, I feel awkward knowing that some people read this. Know parts of my life I haven't got to go through the details in person with them. That we have that uncomfortable silence where I'm wondering what they know, and they're wondering what I haven't shared. Then we're dealing with that middle ground, where I never fair well. Sigh. Not that I'm a shy person, by any means. But, you know. Well, you know.

Illinoisssssss

We woke up at dawn and headed to the Shawnee National Forest today, and had one hell of a time. Every fall and spring we take the two hour drive down there for the biannual snake migration. That area has a pretty unique little ecosystem going for it. If you're a bionerd like I am, you can read more about Snake Road here: https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&view=bsp&ver=ohhl4rw8mbn4

We were lucky enough to spot 11 snakes, 4 of which were cotton mouths. We also got to witness some toads getting down.

So much fun.

Shit in My Backyard

It's been awhile since I posted any pictures, and I do apologize. My camera died sometime last year, and for some reason I have a real mental block when it comes to buying batteries. Tonight, for whatever reason, I totally remembered. I got to see some pictures that I took of some adorable wildlife in my backyard that I had forgotten about until now. One is a little set of twinlette deer who visited quite often over the summer last year.... the other is a groundhog we named Gary.  The photos were taken through the glass so they aren't stellar, but I dare you not to aawww when you see those deer.

 

I grew up in the country, and now I pretty much live in purgatory. Okay, a subdivision, whatever. I used to see nature all of the time out my back door before I moved out. Now, I get unnecessarily excited when I see wild things in my backyard. Even if they're pretty common critters around these parts, I still love seeing them. Here's hoping that the twins made it through the winter and Gary will come and see us again next year.

I'm heading to Shawnee Nature Reserve tomorrow with the Manchild and that one person that still needs to be properly introduced. I'll have my camera with me so look forward to something of interest. Also, look forward to some substance on Mr. Vague. I've been hesitant and careful with him so far because, well, I feel uncontrollably protective of him, and his time here is limited. Plus, I'm still working out what exactly he'd do with his hands...